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Going to a Q&A is a bit like going on a safari, but instead of looking out for different kinds of exotic animal, you brace yourself for the plethora of irritating people you’re bound to encounter. So, next time you wind up at a Q&A, here’s a handy guide to pinpoint exactly what kind of awful person is ruining your evening. Click on the Souncloud above and check out the illustrations below!

THE EQUAL

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  • What’s their problem?: Official invitation lost in the post. Sitting with the audience and not on a throne.
  • Most likely to say: “I’m also a filmmaker like yourself Mr. Spielberg.”
  • Irritation rating: 10. Dreadful person.

 

THE  FRIEND

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  • What’s their problem?: Close personal relationship with important people not widely known.
  • Most likely to say: “Me and [Famous person], we go way back…”
  • Irritation rating: 10. The worst.

 

THE FORGETTER

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  • What’s the problem?: Brain like sieve + need for constant attention.
  • Most likely to say: ‘Uhhhhhhh, I just had it.”
  • Irritation rating: 10. Complete write-off (unless doctor’s note provided).

THE FLATTERER

 

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  • What’s their problem?: Visibly aroused.
  • Most likely to say: “I love you and your work and the tree on your street with the vista of your bedroom window.”
  • Irritation rating: 10. A wrong’un.

 

THE INTELLECTUALtheintellect

  • What’s their problem?: Too clever for this world.
  • Most likely to say: “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. Paradigm.”
  • Irritation rating: 10. Pelt with tomatoes.

 

DRAWINGS BY DIDI BECK

ADDITIONAL VOICES: Paola Mardo, Brian Marks, Ashley Eady, Giovanni Moujaes, Allison Wolfe, Victor Figueroa,  Samanta Helou and Sinead Morgan

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